The next "Shape of Faith" topic: LIFE EXPERIENCES, and how those experiences might benefit others. I wondered if I had much to share, as I lacked the profound traumatic life experiences that would help others through similar situations. But I had to admit, trauma or not, we are all still bound to each other by our common plight: Wrestling with everyday life.
I started realizing God has indeed been building up the experiences in my life. My thirty-plus marriage to Tom is a miracle of sorts, not to be taken for granted! I shared with a friend some of the struggles we'd had in the past, and this friend was so relieved to hear me tell my story; even as a Christian, she'd been on the verge of leaving her husband for the past month, but found hope in a few simple comments I made about my own life.
Another life experience was my six months of being married to an unbeliever. After twenty years with Tom, I got saved in the fall of 1995, and my husband felt deserted. As he put it, "everything we didn't believe in, we chose to not believe in together." That was overturned by my hooking up with the whole Jesus thing. Tom was so upset; he was pretty sure I'd have to divorce him now. I'd be way too holy for him. What a joke. My response was that I definitely would not be divorcing him, as that was not a Christian option, but I managed to throw in several four-letter words to drive home the point- I was quite the poster child for born-again Christians. I vacuumed the house daily for months, crying and pleading, "Lord, save my husband!!!" What a sight! But, praise the Lord- by His Spirit, Tom became a believer in spring of '96. Thank You Lord.
Seems I've had some experience with the weight thing too. Before overcoming the "problem", I was obsessed. At age ten I was pouring through diet and exercise books. Not a horrible activity in moderation. But I realize now that at my healthiest, I just played like a regular kid, thrilled to be a part of the neighborhood softball game or whatever, coming home to whatever dinner was served, but not thinking about what I would or wouldn't eat all day long. And that's how I overcame any weight "problem". It never really was about the exact numbers read on the scale- it was about my being more obsessed with my body than with God. Sometimes it takes a conscious effort, but my goal now is: Put God above all else! "But seek ye first the
I've also had some experience in homemaking, cooking, writing, and computers that may lend hope to others.
And now, on to the next topic: PERSONAL STYLE.
My style is go-getter, with ambition to improve situations that others might put off. I will finish what I start (though I love when someone else can finish up for me!). I will create some general "plans", but enjoy winging it as well. I suppose I stand out, enjoying being "an open book", operating more with action than intellect, dreaming something as long as it's do-able. I've been somewhat rebellious, struggling with pride, enjoying change but loving routine too...
All the above IS the profile of someone who ends up where I am: working on this "cookbook/devotional". I love how God has taken my personal tendencies and poured them into this creation. Without being who I am, I wouldn't have bothered with this endeavor. Praise God!
I think of all the tendencies I have, and see the danger zone: Should I become too obsessed with "Me", I fail God. I yearn to speak "Christ" through my life. My prayer (like many believers) is for God to mold me into that person who will point to Christ. I cringe that my personality could side-track people into becoming fascinated with me! Better for my life to point to Jesus! I've had people get too curious about me, perhaps sometimes at the expense of finding out more about God. So I crave balance. If I can act more like Jesus, it's only by the grace of God. If God can remake a stubborn, impulsive person like me into a gentle, loving, sensitive being, that is indeed a miracle.
A Christian friend of mine once rationalized her abruptness by saying, "Lord knows, I don't have a gentle bone in my body!" But it seemed like a cop-out. I felt that if she would allow God to soften her, she'd been a better witness of His awesome power over all things.
So I see a fine line: With our personal style "harnessed" by God, we end up in a place of great potential, where God uses that style to His glory. But if we cross that line, we end up in a world of our own creation, where we may receive much of what the world can offer, but not the best blessings of God. How I hope that all I do may indeed be for His glory! We each have our own unique way of being used, in humility or in the foreground. But we have a common bond, and how awesome it is, when the body of believers is working together, ALL for His glory!
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